| | Subject: | dA | | Time: | 12:02 am | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/growf/smileys/smile.gif) accomplished |
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| So I finally went through and posted a bunch of my sketchbook doodlings from this semester of uni to dA, like I've been intending to for ages. I filled up three sketchbooks; it took some serious culling to get the numbers low enough to be postable.
I am quite proud (and ego-tripping) so I will say: hey! Go look at my weird insectoid alien dragonny drawings! They're at kaya-strissa.deviantart.com ... | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment   |
| --
Where am I now? I sit
at a desk, my feet balanced
on the cross-bars of two beige chairs.
But I am a million things and
a million miles away | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Blerk. Post-excessively-good-mood down. Endorphins can only last so long. Remind me never to stay up so late for no good reason again... | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| To quote one of my favourite people in all the world, my heart is full to bursting.
Lalalalalaaaa happy happy happy lalalalalala
I do not think I could love this man more if I tried and I want to tell the whole freaking world about it even if they don't know me or care.
HEY! EVERYONE! I AM IN LOVE AND IT IS
THE
BEST
THING
EVER!
(...this is what I get for listening to the beatles and drawing for two hours straight...) | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| | Time: | 05:12 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/growf/smileys/hyper.gif) giddy |
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| *squeeeeeee*
Smiles are back, though significantly more nervous than last time at this stage... | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| Today, I smiled until my face hurt. And then I smiled some more.
The first thing I did this morning was blast some James Brown: "I feel good" at full volume through our sound system, and dance in my pyjamas in the kitchen. While today wasn't entirely smooth, and was at times unproductive or even tense, it was good. VERY good.
I have a feeling I am going to be doing most of the guiding for a little while, but I don't want to rush things.
There is a strange feeling in my bones, a mixture of impatience and excitement and hope, at the same time as a deep, deep content and satisfaction. | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| | "... and so he said, 'I love you, as the moon loves the sun and will forever chase her across the skies, but shall never catch her for more than a fleeting moment; so I love you and so I will always love you, and I cannot stop that even should I want to. Know that I think of you at all times, and at all times I think of you, it gives me hope.' " | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| | I think I need someone just to hold me while I cry for a bit but there is no one here and the chance will be gone tomorrow | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| Well, I got told. In what I guess is a karmic favour to my dignity, he isn't aware that he told me he wasn't interested (long story, but can be summed up with the phrase "Friend Zone"), but perhaps partially because of that, I'm having trouble getting out of the 'denial' phase. Or just progressing at all. Several of my friends are in the same boat as me right now- needing to get over someone that the universe has told them in no uncertain terms that they're not even allowed to try with. For their benefit- no, it's not just you, I really do have several friends with exactly the same problem right now, to varying degrees. Some not so bad, some in world-changing agony, some on the spectrum in between like myself.
The first part, when the unrequitedness is still a mystery, is fun, but once you know it's a no-go, the enjoyment becomes scarce. There's got to be a way of speeding the recovery process, because I don't know that I'm learning anything from this. Not from this stage, at least.
I've only been like this for a week and it's already getting unbearable. I want him to be able to walk past without the whole rest of the world dimming and gravity suddenly becoming undecided about its orientation. I want to be able to sit in class with him and not get distracted. This is becoming detrimental to my coursework. It's hard to listen to electromagnetic theory when there's someone shining in the seat next to you, and with the first midsemester test next week, I can't afford to fall behind.
Bleh. I can't believe how emo I sound. This is degrading.
EDIT: At least it's doing good things for my Actual Art output, even if none of it'll ever see the light of day... | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| I've met someone who is blisteringly clever. Someone who has a slightly off-kilter sense of humour, who appreciates weirdness a whole lot more than they let themselves. Someone who appreciates the aesthetics of maths; the deep beauty that comes from calculus. Someone who knows the wonderment that comes from physics. Someone who, like I used to, struggles with balancing their life, since they are passionate about too many things and want to chase them all. Someone trying to balance freedom with security, creativity with intellect.
Someone who appreciates the complexity of music, and loves it in its technicality as well as its essence. Someone multitalented and skilled and who worked for it. Someone whose eyes sparkle, just sometimes, when you find something beneath the surface. Someone I haven't figured out yet. Someone I'm scared of.
Someone who may or may not be totally oblivious to me- I hope they are. I think I'd rather observe. Evidently I am obsessing over this more than I should. I will put it down to unregulated hormones, but I wonder what would happen if we actually looked at each other instead of our work? | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| | Subject: | Ahahaha | | Time: | 06:46 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/growf/smileys/giggly.gif) giggly |
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| | Ahahahaha I am hyperactive and hormonal and going out, this is going to be an interesting evening | | comments: 9 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Subject: | Argh! | | Time: | 06:31 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/growf/smileys/angry.gif) aggravated |
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| | Argh! Why must history constantly repeat itself, despite my best efforts to stop it? Damn and blast! *roars in frustration* | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| This is all wrong. The core subjects for your career path shouldn't destroy your spirit.
I did so well on the others, I'm even certain I passed them all. Which is unusual for me; I'm usually totally convinced I've failed, or at the very best have no idea how I went. No, the others were not the horror I'd expected, I actually got mostly everything done and it was all dandy. I worked bloody hard for them and it paid off.
( Ranting under the cut ) | | comments: 3 comments or Leave a comment |
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